TRIP 2- Russia here we come !

Saturday Feb 7 - Sunday Feb 8
We left on an Aeroflot flight at 8:20 pm. We sat in the nice club associated with Korean Air for the wait. There were a lot of middle aged Russian men toasting each other and downing shots of vodka.
The food was not as good on Aeroflot, certainly not as luxurious as Air France but seats do recline almost all the way. We both got between 4 and 5 hours of sleep. We arrived about ½ hour late. We got through passport control no problems and waited at the baggage carousel for my bag. We had to check a bag because we were carrying all of the gifts for the orphanage workers, our coordinator etc. I had packed my Suit and accessories for 2 days of trial. Also, since I am staying for between 16-30 days I had a lot more clothes, as well as gifts, toys and clothes for the twins. We stood around, with only 1 carousel working Athens and Prague and New York bags were all mixed together. It was a total mess. My bag was almost the very last one to come out of the carousel. I was beginning to freak out as I did not want to deal with lost luggage. We thankfully have a number of days before court so I knew even if it was lost we could probably get it before we needed it but I definitely did not want to worry about that. Finally I got my bag and we proceeded out of customs to meet our driver and get to the Courtyard Marriott in Moscow city center.

We had planned to check in and relax a little before we were scheduled to meet our coordinator at 8pm. Well, when we walked into the hotel lobby the coordinator was already there meeting with the other couple who has court 2 days before us. We immediately sat with her and were being prepped for the trial. We handed over our official last documents and went over the week’s schedule. Finally by 6:00 we were checked into our room. We went out for dinner with the other couple, looking for a fast food type place out on the main street (Tverskya Street) but could not find what we were looking for. By that time it was almost 8, we were exhausted and cold so Mike and I left them and headed back to the hotel restaurant for hamburgers. It was the only meal Mike ate all day. I had had some of the gross breakfast (really lunch in Russia time) on the plane. So we were starving, we ate and then conked out. Of course because of jet lag and the time difference we were both wide awake at 3:30 am. We skyped my parents by 5:15 am and were dressed ready and eating the continental breakfast buffet at 7:00 am Monday Morning.

JUST ONE MORE DOCUMENT

My life these past few months seems to revolve around 'just one more document'. I am sure if I go back over my journaling and blog posts I will see a ton of references to "just one more document". It has been never ending with the things we have been asked for. Of course there is ONE MORE DOCUMENT that we were asked to provide.

Only 2 days before we leave and I am chasing down NY State law regarding age of adoptive parents and conferencing between my agency and homestudy agency to get this last letter written. I had already gone all the way down town yesterday morning to pick up the letter and by time I was back up town (to get my hair cut in midtown) I heard from my agency that it needed to be changed. So more back and forth- I finally got back down town to to pick up the new ones but too late to get anything certified and apostilled. So, off to the county clerk and dept of state I went this morning. Nothing like getting the last documents 1 day before we are set to leave. I can't imagine they can ask for anything more. Oy.

February 4th, 2009 ~ Mike is excited to go

Here's Michael's Email to his friends. Too cute.

---

From: Levine, Michael
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 11:11 PM

Subject: Russia Bound

Gentlemen:

Melissa and I got the final green light today, and so we will be off to Russia on Saturday to begin the second stage of our adoption journey. We will be in court on Friday Feb 13 (yes, Friday the 13th), and Monday Feb 16. Supposedly we will be questioned by both the judge and a prosecutor. Pretty brutal if you ask me.

Based on the info Melissa has received from couples who have gone to court over the past 6-10 months, it seems as if part of the process is for the judge or the prosecutor to try to rattle the parents (we've heard stories of woman crying as a result of questioning). Well, I do not think they will be able to shake me as I have many years of experience from taking loads of cr@p from all of you at one time or another.

Unfortunately, upon my return to the US on Wed Feb 18, I will not have the girls with me, because after court, the Russians will make us wait 10 business days until we can take the girls out of the orphanage. Of course, to our luck, there is a Russian holiday a few days after the Feb 16 court date, so that will prolong our wait. At this point, I will return to the US on Feb 17, Melissa's parents will join Melissa in Russia for a week, and then they will return around Feb 23, and then finally Melissa, my parents and I will return to Russia on Feb 28/Mar 1 for the third stage of the process. We do not have an exact return date, but we hope to fly back to the US with the girls Mar 10, Mar 11 or Mar 12.

Attached is the first great family photo. Meredith is sitting on Melissa's lap, and Danielle is sitting on my lap.

(dosvi`daniya)

Michael

Adoption Brain

I always heard about the term 'pregnancy brain', when my pregnant friends were forgetful, clumsy, obsessed with nesting , even self absorbed etc. Of course I never knew if it was a 'real thing', but I know that everyone came out of it eventually (and even though I am positive I used it as an excuse during my 24 week pregnancy last year- I have completely blocked out that period in my mind!)

Well, now I think I have 'adoption brain'. I feel like I am 40 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable and anxious to 'get this baby out'. I am self absorbed and scatterbrained. I cannot focus on anything else except getting back to Russia to our girls. I certainly have not been a great friend. So, to my family and friends, to everyone who has left me a phone, email and/or Facebook message- I apologize. I know you all have your own things going on in your lives, and I should be eager to listen to your stories and problems, help you in your time of need. I am sorry to not be able to focus, and I feel really crappy about it and myself. I really did think of myself as a good friend before this. And I also know you are all excited about our new adventure and want to hear all the details. But I seem to not want to talk to or be with anyone at the moment. This entire week Mike has been working really hard to finish work projects up before we leave. He has been at work until 10, 11, 12 pm every night. I am by myself all day every day and while I know I should call on my friends and family, check in with people, see how everyone is doing, talk about my fears to close friends who I know will listen and give advice, I have not wanted to do any of it!I am just in my mind and my own world right now.

My mind has been so full- with paperwork and document details everyday. So many travel details and itinerary changes daily to keep up with. Now, it is the nerves about sitting in front of a Russian Judge in a week, a complete stranger who will decide the fate of the rest of my life. I am finally thinking about the prospect of soon becoming a parent to twin 1 year old girls and not having any clue of what to do with them. I spent the better part of 3 years trying to have a baby, now we are so close to being a family of 4 and I am completely freaked out! I am stressed about how much money this is all costing us and our families, scared about having to move out of the city, worried about having to sell our apartment (and more importantly to first get the apartment which is crammed with 8 years of clutter cleared out, cleaned up and ready to sell), and having to look for and buy a new house. I'm worried about Mike at work and his soon to be really long commute as well as the general shitty state of the economy which makes all of the above even more difficult and stressful than normal. (Wow- I just reread this- I did not know was was such a mess until I wrote it down!)

So, I am sure I will snap out of it. We are nearing the end. Of course, once I do snap out of it and once we get home, life as we know it will change forever. We will have toddler girls that we will have to tend to. We will be in lock down for a while to get used to each other, begin the bonding process, find a routine, and all that other good stuff. I know it will be difficult. Just as coming home with a new born is tough, I am not sure adoption is tougher or just different but I know both are overwhelming. I promise that I will be back -once the fog lifts. I am trying to keep up with everyone, I really am. I love you all and appreciate you putting up with me.

Melissa

We have a court date!!!

Well, we finally received the exciting news today that we have a court date. We are scheduled for February 13th and 16th. The other couple we traveled with on trip 1 got a court schedule for Feb 11 and 12 so I am not sure if we will be traveling with them again or will be passing them in Moscow and Tver as we will be doing different things on different days. We have to wait until next week to get our actual travel dates and itinerary. So, now we continue to wait.

Oh, and one more thing. The judge is asking for yet MORE documents. Thankfully this will not hold us up on getting on the court schedule. I am even more thankful because I believe the request is only for a new notary 'true and accurate' on documents we already submitted. We again should find out what needs to be done early next week.
YAY!
I can finally breathe and prepare to travel.

January 20-25 MORE DOCUMENTS

The Judge wants more documents. Why is it that if one family gives her specific documents she thinks she can get the exact same documents from every family after that. What the Russian Judge does not realize is that in the US every state is different. Notaries can do different things in different states. Not every family is in the same situation. It is ridiculous but we just have to do what she says, one way or the other we have to do it.
I spent the days on Wed, Thursday and Friday between Mike's office in Midtown to get things notarized, the county clerks office on Chambers street and the Department of state on Williams street. And round and round I went.
I walked over 4 miles on Thursday between all the places and subways.
From 8 am to 8 pm I worked on this. At 7:45 finally all the documents were ready and I sent the FedEx off to the agency before the 8pm express FedEx deadline. All our documents got their on Friday morning.
Our new FBI background clearances came in the mail on Friday. The ones I received from our home study agency from our original clearance checks in June was an official looking letters from NYS stating we have no criminal background. They were requested directly by the home study agency. For some reason I thought the same type of letter was what we would get this time too. But, today by FedEx we received back our original finger print cards, with a 1/2 page paper note stapled to it that says see results on back of card. On the back bottom is a stamp that says 'NO Arrest Record' and the date. That is it. The stamp isn't even so dark. I had to get them notarized and apostilled too. I was afraid that when photocopied you could barely see the results stamp. Well, you can see it but not so well. That is all that we got from the FBI so I certainly hope it is okay. Not very official- no signature or official letter. I scanned them into an email and I will ask my agency about it on Monday.
I really wanted to take an 'adoption break' this weekend because the paperwork and craziness has been overwhelming this past week. Especially because I thought we would be in Russia already.
Mike and I vegged out on Saturday. We basically stayed in our PJ's in bed and on the couch all day. I think we are both feeling 'blah' just waiting. We are depressed, just waiting for the next phase of our life to begin, the road blocks are taking their toll on us. Vegging out was good. It helped with our 'blah' mood and I think we also both realize that once the girls are home we will not be able to that so it was a nice 'calm before the storm' type day. It is also freezing out. We have been keeping up with the weather in Tver and it seems that it is colder here than in Russia right now.

Now we wait- to see if the judge requests more or if she will give us a court date.

Delays

Yesterday I thought- Oh my god, we are leaving on Saturday. I will be in Russia for a Month. I have so much to day. So excited. Wow- what a difference a day makes….and what a let down!!!!!!

Today I find out we are delayed. Our coordinator has been working hard on our behalf in Russia. She was supposed to meet with the judge go over the documents (some of which we frantically got together in the last moments before the new year!) to hopefully set our court date. I have been waiting patiently all week . The judge just got back from vacation on Jan 12^th. We had a tentative date of January 21^st for court. I was trying to not get my hopes up but I just don't think I can wait anymore. I know there are families who have waited longer than we have. One family I follow the blog of waited 7 months. 2 families they know waited 11 and 13 months in between trips. We are only on 1 month wait but it still feels like forever already! I don't think I can wait any longer. This is just too hard. I want my babies. The longer this process goes on the harder the transition will be for them. Don't they understand? Why does everything have to be so hard? I just want my babies.

The judge is now asking for more documents. We had to go through an FBI check to finalize our official home study. USCIS/Homeland security also does an FBI check before we are official approved to adopt internationally. Both of which were done over the summer. Seems that the judge wants yet one more new check… like as soon as we finished the FBI check we went out on a crime spree! Give me a break!

The Judge is also asking for some sort of letter verifying the truth and accuracy of all of the official documents that we submitted like all the doctors licenses, CPA license, I171H etc. Thing is that these already have true and accurate statements attached to them signed by the specific person. i.e. the CPA said this is a true copy of my CPA license. But that seems it is not good enough for the judge. It would have to be re-done for at least 8 documents’. Of course 3 copies of each notarized and appostilled! She wants a notary or someone else official to verify the original document. Again, ridiculous!!!!!!!

If I weren’t so sad, upset, and pissed off I’d have to laugh at this situation. Hopefully once the girls are home we can do that. How ridiculous are these things they want from us. Lulu told me one family was asked for GPS coordinates to their house!?!? What? Why? Is that the weirdest request a Judge has made? I bet not. I’d love to hear from other Russian adoptive families to see what is the most ludicrous requests have been.